We’re men. We make dumb mistakes and say stupid things.
Especially when talking to women.
Specifically, when we are between the ages of 18 and 22.
You know, college age.
The age of, say, Nebraska football players.
Following Nebraska’s gut-punch loss to Maryland last Saturday, in which the Big Red committed five turnovers, my first post on social media was “no words.”
Now, I have words.
The words are, Nebraska football — especially its offense – reminds me of some of the stupid, or insensitive, things that I or some of my fellow college buddies said to women during our formulative years.
Formulative years?
Yes, a man’s brain is not fully developed until he is 25 years of age.
A woman’s is fully developed when she grasps the fact that men say, and are going to continue to say, stupid things.
So, I have researched past Nebraska football games in which the Big Red’s offense stumbled and bumbled its way to losses caused by turnovers and paralleled those games with a comment that a man may have said to a woman.
Here goes:
September 9, 1972: UCLA 20, Nebraska 17. Huskers commit five turnovers. “Hey, that’s a smart outfit. Did your sister buy it for you?”
November 11, 1972: Iowa State 23, Nebraska 23. Huskers commit eight turnovers. “You’re overreacting. I was just looking at her pretty blouse.”
November 23, 1972: Oklahoma 17, Nebraska 14. Huskers commit six turnovers. “Is it that time of the month again?”
October 13, 1973: Missouri 13, Nebraska 12. Huskers commit three turnovers. “You shopped for six hours and that is what you are wearing?”
October 12, 1974: Missouri 21, Nebraska 10. Husker commit five turnovers. “You’re acting like your mother. And you know how I feel about her!”
September 10, 1977: Washington State 19, Nebraska 10. Huskers lose four fumbles: “You must spend a fortune on makeup.”
October 4, 1980: Florida State 18, Nebraska 14. Huskers commit four turnovers. “When is your baby due? Or have you delivered it already?”
September 12, 1981: Iowa 10, Nebraska 7. Huskers commit five turnovers. “My last girlfriend was okay with it, so I don’t see why you have a problem.”
November 17, 1984: Oklahoma 17, Nebraska 7. Huskers commit four turnovers. “Wow, you really talk a lot.”
October 23, 1999: Texas 24, Nebraska 20. Huskers lose three fumbles. “Have you brushed your teeth today?”
November 26, 2004: Colorado 26, Nebraska 20. Huskers commit four turnovers. “Are you sure you showered today?”
October 8, 2005: Texas Tech 34, Nebraska 31. Huskers commit five turnovers. “How much do you weigh?”
December 5, 2009: Texas 13, Nebraska 12. Huskers commit three turnovers. “I told my friends about your secret, and none of them think it’s weird. You just need to relax.”
October 4, 2014: Michigan State 27, Nebraska 22. Huskers commit four turnovers. “Do you ever wish you looked like your sister? She’s beautiful.”
September 7, 2019: Colorado 34, Nebraska 31. Huskers commit three turnovers. “My goodness. When was the last time you shaved your legs?”
August 31, 2023: Minnesota 13, Nebraska 10. Huskers commit four turnovers. “I saw you jogging yesterday. Is it doing any good?”
November 4, 2023: Michigan State 20, Nebraska 17. Huskers commit three turnovers. “Let me explain it to you so you can understand.”
November 11, 2023: Maryland 13, Nebraska 10. Husker commit five turnovers. “You should ask my mother to help you improve your cooking.”
And, yet the ladies love us.
Just like we love our fumbling, bumbling Huskers.