I’m writing this on Black Friday. Actually, it’s white Friday; the first snow of any consequence is falling and, for once, it’s a gentle snow. Big fluffy flakes drifting down on a slight breeze. So far, it appears not to be the usual after Thanksgiving blizzard so hopefully everyone who needs to travel home will be able to. We’re not planning to go any farther than the mailbox. There are leftovers aplenty in the fridge and deskwork needs caught up, but no deadlines loom.
Some of you will be out chasing bargains and I feel sorry for you. Some have begun making lists, planning menus, and fretting about how much there is to do in the weeks ahead. I feel sorry for you too, because you are preparing to miss Christmas. Maybe you’ll stop in your tracks at some point, to taste a snowflake, watch an icicle grow, or catch a memory as it flits past, and linger there for a moment. I hope that for you, but marketing and the media will do their best to be sure it doesn’t happen.
The bargain hunters waiting in line at a checkout, or stoplight, probably have no clue that we are about to enter a season of waiting. We all have to wait sometimes, and our serenity depends on how we choose to do that. Waiting isn’t wasted time unless we use it to fret. Maybe say a silent blessing for the person ahead of you in line who looks frazzled, or the driver who cut you off to turn left. It won’t change the situation but it’s guaranteed to change you into a gentler person.
One of my neighbors was an easy-going guy who did his best to take life on life’s terms and sometimes, for him, the terms were horrendous. I never knew him to say goodbye or so long. Always, on departing, his final words were, “Be Gentle.” The ribbon on his casket bore that message too because that’s how he lived, and wanted others to live.
Recently, a friend mentioned a mutual acquaintance whom we both admire for that person’s ability to get things done. The person is capable, smart, and serves the community in various ways. They are always on the move and focused on the next project, but my friend observed that the ‘go to person’ has no gentleness. I’d never thought about that, but she was right, and of course, the next thought was to wonder if there is gentleness in me, and if not, why not?
We all have our not so gentle moments. Times when we speak without considering the effect of our words, or what they reveal about us. Days when life gets so heavy that we wonder if we can take one more step. Those are the days when we need someone to share their gentleness with us, but when we receive that gift it’s important to remember to pass it on.
I don’t know much about how to change the parts of me that are less than useful, or even harmful, but I do know this. Gentleness doesn’t reside alongside hurrying. So, just for today, because today is all I have, I will wait for gentleness to catch up with me and keep an eye open for how it should be shared.
Meet me here next week, and meanwhile, do your best. Somebody might like it.