Several years ago, a friend who knows us pretty well gave us a sign to put by the door. Instead of Welcome, it says, Stay Away. Our friend knows we don’t care for large gatherings and hullaballoo, but he also knows he’s welcome at our door anytime. We enjoy company but also like our space.
I’ve been pondering how our culture and technology separate us from one another while claiming to enhance connection. As former Senator Harold Ford Jr. often says, “Two things can be true.”
Cell phones are the obvious example. Teenagers aren’t the only ones you see sitting side by side communicating on their phones. Next time you eat out, look around for adult couples on their phones. Here’s a chance to spend one on one time with a spouse or significant other, but they’ve decided to pass it up. Even if they’re texting each other they miss cues in responses, body language, eye contact, and tone of voice. And probably wonder, when an issue arises, why they don’t understand how find common ground. If you lived before the era of cell phones you probably recall “the look” that a parent gave, which said to back off. You had learned to observe and interpret the clues around you. Not so much, these days.
It’s good to have the option to attend church on Zoom if you’re ill, have a disability, or weather is bad. But several folks in my church who have limitations are present more often than not. They greet the rest of us cheerfully, give hugs, and ask how we are. We watch their struggles, feel compassion and offer support. In-person sharing creates joy and inspiration for all parties.
If the business meeting is in Omaha, Zoom makes it convenient to not drive across the state but, when we make the effort to be there, we get to know the others in that organization and form a network of people to ask clarification of when controversy arises.
It’s certainly convenient to order from Amazon, or have groceries delivered. But doing that isolates us when we probably need to offer, and receive, smiles, a door held, or a wish to have a good day. I often get prompts to order medications by mail and the folks don’t get it when I say that I prefer to keep my local pharmacies in business. Besides, the people down at Dave’s always smile and exchange news.
Recently, I had a question about an aspect of my insurance. Had to go through ten minutes of “push this button” and, after all that frustration, finally got a real person. They could have done that to start with, and it took five seconds to answer my query. By then, it was pretty hard for me to be pleasant and wish the lady a nice day, but I managed to do so.
We are all valuable, all have skills and insights to offer, but society discourages those interactions in the name of convenience so we get lazy, and the world is poorer for that.
Meet me here next week and meanwhile, do your best to show up in person. Somebody might like it.