“Just don’t let them get you to hate.”
I read this recently, but the quote wasn’t credited. Seems pretty timely because wherever we look someone wants to spread word of a scandal or conspiracy, denigrate someone’s character, or try to get us to doubt what common sense tells us is true.
Hate produces adrenaline and adrenaline is addictive. There’s a rush, like a sugar high only more so. Someone to align with so we can seem stronger than we are alone. A cause to embrace, a way to get our voice heard. Hate can be sneaky. It masquerades as justice, as first amendment rights, as patriotism, even as religion. These things, good, in themselves, are often highjacked and used to promote agendas that are based on control. Efforts to control are often based on fear.
It’s not always easy to discover when control is in play. “We’ve always done it that way,” can be a clue. Who says parents have to spend thousands to get their offspring properly married? Why do you always have to have fireworks on the 4th of July? Especially in a drought year! Turning 21 doesn’t have to be a drunken party. One young woman of my acquaintance, who chooses not to use alcohol, still wanted to celebrate. So, she took herself to Omaha and spent a day at Henry Doorly Zoo. A time she will always remember, as opposed to someone who had to have friends tell them what happened on their 21st celebration. Can you enjoy watching the home team without making all manner of noise? There are many ways we can be controlled while unaware of it.
You can know that control is in play if someone has to yell while attempting to make a point. All advertising is a form of control. Notice how many of the ads are yelled, or tell you to rush. If someone ridicules people who disagree, or uses sarcasm, that’s control. In relation to politics, it’s all about who can raise the most money and get endorsements from celebrities. We worry about bullying in schools and accept it as normal in the public square.
If someone is trying to get you to participate in hate there are simple ways to unhook. Don’t watch the news. Don’t take the bait when asked to give an opinion on a subject you know is controversial. Say something kind, or just say that you prefer not to have that discussion.
There’s a measuring stick that helps to know whether a statement is leading toward hate or simply an entry to thoughtful discussion. THINK. Ask yourself whether the comment is True. Is it Helpful? Informative and Necessary? Is it Kind? If one of these standards isn’t met it may be time to back off and unhook.
Meet me here next week and meanwhile do your best to THINK.