What is the fastest growing scam in America? The online dating, or romance scam. A person is tricked into believing they’re in a romantic relationship with someone they met online. In fact, their “other half” is a cybercriminal using a fake identity to gain their victim’s trust, then asking them for money.
Often, the advances start on dating sites or apps. But they’ve increasingly begun on social media, too. About half of all romance scams reported to the FTC involve social media, usually on Facebook or Instagram, where many of us share too much information.
Adults of all ages go online to use dating websites or apps. Primary targets would be those who are recently widowed or divorced. The potential mate lives in another part of the country or is abroad for business or a military deployment. But he or she seems is eager to get to know you better, and suggests you move your relationship to a private channel like a chat app.
Over time you grow closer and you think you’ve developed a romantic relationship, so you make plans to meet in person. Then you get an urgent request. There’s an emergency (a medical problem, perhaps, or a business crisis) and your cyber sweetheart needs you to send money fast, typically via gift cards, prepaid debit cards or a wire transfer. He or she will promise to pay it back, but that will never happen. Instead, the scammer will keep asking for more until you finally realize you’ve been had.
There may be a blackmail element, too, if you have shared compromising information or photographs.
How can you tell if someone is a romance scammer? They are counting on your emotions overcoming your common sense. Here are some red flags a cybercriminal may be up to more than just sweeping you off your feet.
They’re far, far away. One of the first giveaways of a romance scammer is their background. They are stationed or work overseas or across the country. They can’t meet in person, but they’ll have great stories to share with you.
Their profile seems too good to be true. Their interests and hobbies match yours!
The relationship moves fast. They ask to move communications off the dating site — neither of you are seeing other people anyway, right? (You lose the safety features of the dating web site when you do this.) They profess their love for you quickly, and may ask you to marry them. Or their messages look like they might be copied and pasted and don’t really make sense in your conversation.
They want to meet you, but then break their promises to visit. They may even have you pay for plane tickets or other travel costs. But they’ll cancel at the last minute, providing an elaborate reason for why they can’t see you after all. Remember, they want to keep their identity a secret.
They need money! After all, this is the point of the scam. The sob story will vary. They ask for specific payment methods. Gift cards, prepaid debit cards, wire transfers, money transfers via an app like Venmo, cryptocurrency, maybe even a shared bank account.
An alternate money scam to watch for: They may send you money! This could rope you into a “money mule” scheme, whereby the scammer asks to deposit money into your bank account, distribute the funds to other people, or deliver packages. These requests could be tied to money laundering.
People in the Midwest are the most susceptible to romance scams. Women are more likely than men to be taken in, and the riskiest group is age 55-64. How do you keep from being a victim?
Watch for the red flags explained earlier in this article.
Evaluate your online presence. What do you share publicly on social media?
Develop online relationships slowly.
Set up a video chat. You’ll want to see this person’s face to know if he/she is real.
Don’t share compromising photos or information.
If you realize you are caught up in your emotions, ask a friend or family member for a second opinion.
Do your own snooping. Check their social media profiles. You can do a reverse image search to see if the photo on the dating site was used on other websites or with other names. Do a screenshot or right-click on the face, then go to images.google.com and paste the image. Google will show you where that image has appeared online.
Do not send money to someone you haven’t met face-to-face!
If you think you have been a victim of a romance scam, report it! Contact your bank to see if you can stop a money transfer. File a police report. Report the incident to the FTC at ftc.gov/complaint, the FBI at ic3.gov, and to the dating site if the scam started there.