I don’t leave the house on Black Friday. Small Business Saturday happens all year for us. We stayed home by ourselves on Thanksgiving. It was peaceful, and we actually had time to reflect on our blessings. We made a traditional meal because Bruce loves leftover turkey, but passed on my favorite pumpkin pie, because he dislikes it and I can make it for my family some other time. I tried a new sweet potato recipe that is certainly a keeper, but we didn’t have to worry about traffic, weather, what conversations to avoid, or whether there would be tension among the guests.
The holiday season has begun and, as usual, it’s all about expectations. We are encouraged to spend ourselves silly, to entertain, to decorate, to rejoice, to meet the expectations of our society, ourselves, and our families. And the consequence of not doing all this is guilt.
A friend told me some years ago that she was skipping Christmas. She had had a traumatic year and simply couldn’t bear to keep a smile on her face or mingle with the crowd. I understood; been there done that. Most of us who are past thirty have, and the rest will eventually get there, but few will have someone to tell them it’s ok to drop out. One church that I know of has a Blue Christmas service. If you’ve lost a loved one, a job, a marriage, or just feel hopeless, it’s a place to have your sadness and grief acknowledged and be assured you aren’t alone.
I’m not skipping Christmas, but we might decide to sit on the floor and eat pizza for the holiday meal. Actually, both of us have trouble getting up off the floor these days, so that part won’t happen, but we do enjoy pizza or popcorn when cooking seems like too much effort.
I’ll probably send fewer cards, what with increases in postage and slower delivery, but one can always touch base with phone calls and email. I enjoy decorating, but some of the stuff can stay in the box, and I won’t spend hours making goodies that I have to hide from myself. If you love going out on Black Friday, or even Christmas Eve, to get bargain prices, go for it. This year, my family will get cash, and gift cards for local businesses. It’s the least I can do to help the community stay strong. Win-win; no supply chain worries, savings at the gas pump, and they can choose something they really need.
We get to decide how to observe the holidays, and nobody should be made to feel badly if the choices are unorthodox. I hope that we’ll all do at least one thing to bless another person, whether it’s a note of appreciation, a plate of goodies, dropping a donation in the red kettle, or giving your coat to someone who doesn’t have one. When Bruce finished eating lunch in Rapid City the other day, he learned his meal had been paid for by someone who had just left the eating establishment.
Doing a kindness without getting caught is an old tradition, and one worth observing. After all, Santa does it every year.