Our home is modest, at best; after all it’s a conglomeration of shacks put together a hundred years ago. We’ve made some improvements, mostly done ourselves, but the floors still slope in all directions, much of the furniture is second hand, and there’s a roof leak that even putting tin on didn’t help. And yet, visitors often remark how comfy and welcoming it is.
Perhaps it’s because this house is built on love and cooperation. We aren’t immune to the disagreements common to marriage, but we try to resolve them quickly and respectfully. We serve each other in small ways like taking out trash, saying thanks for a meal, filling the wood box, laying a fire, or topping off the gas tank. Serving has gotten a bad rap, but it’s essential to contentment.
Ray Hunt got it right when he said, in regard to horse training, “Make it easy for them to do the right thing.” Treating family and co-workers with love and respect enhances their desire to respond in kind.
Merle Haggard sang about “When a girl could still cook, and still would.” While making cookies the other day, I remembered the recipe was from a cookbook my mom got for a wedding present and I’d been making those cookies since age ten. I was given a Betty Crocker cookbook for a wedding present in 1957, wore it out, and bought another. Do brides even get cookbooks for their wedding shower anymore?
Mundane chores are mostly considered a burden nowadays, and women often view themselves as victims, or mere servants of the home. I learned to cook early, and being tasked with a responsibility seemed like an honor. I’ve been known to say I was liberated when I got tall enough to saddle my own horse, and had special privileges because I left the hayfield an hour before others, in order to do the milking chores.
Serving those we love is an honor, and we ought to be thankful for the opportunity. When everyone does his or her fair share, the results are amazing. Just as true in an organization, or community, as in the home. Twelve step support groups say, “Our common welfare should come first. Personal recovery depends on unity.” The Book of Common Prayer reminds us to “never forget that our common life depends on each other’s toil.”
A friend says, “I don’t have to go to work, I get to go to work.”
The lack of unity in our nation today feels overwhelming. People who want to go to work are often prevented from making a contribution by rules that make no sense. And those who don’t want to work, and have been told they shouldn’t have to, gum up the whole system.
I want to be part of the solution, and the solution starts at home. I can smile when I’d rather not. Ask, “Do you need help with that?” Offer a cup of coffee and warm cookies to a neighbor who drops by. Do the dishes. Bake homemade bread because it pleases my husband. Negativity grows when we feed it, but so does love, and little love offerings ripple out into the world. What will you do in the name of love today?