“Birds of a feather flock together” was a standard my parents’ generation used when deciding who their teens were allowed to hang out with. I used to argue with Mom that it was silly. “I’m the same person no matter who I run around with,” I maintained. (These were always mom talks, I knew better than to disagree with my dad.)
I’m not the same, of course, and neither are you. Evidence was plain when working cattle at the chute. If the crew was foul mouthed and mean talking, I caught it pretty quickly without being aware of the changes. Think about how you respond when with a gossipy group, or in a political discussion.
On a related note, I’m likely to resist the societal pressure that insists on social diversity. This is not about discrimination. I have friends and family members of various racial, lifestyle, and cultural backgrounds and love them dearly. We accept differences without a second thought. But in group situations, I find myself drifting to the people in jeans and cowboy hats. I admire your stylish outfits, stiletto heels, and careful hairstyles—from afar. I’m just not comfortable making conversation with folks who obviously come from a different social and economic background. It’s not that I feel unworthy, or stupid, in such company, just that we soon run out of things to talk about.
With that being said, I relish a good and spirited discussion with people whose opinions differ from mine, as long as we remain courteous and keep our words and voices appropriate. I have friends and family on both sides of the political aisle and we live and let live.
There’s no denying that racism and discrimination are alive and well in our culture. It has been ever thus, and it has been ever wrong and abominable. I’ll never be convinced that shouting, marching, profanity, and name calling are appropriate ways to change that. Whatever kindness and tolerance each of us practices in our individual lives is the only path to healing. Requiring quotas in hiring or membership simply makes people sull up like a recalcitrant bull that has been chased and roped in an effort to get him in the trailer.
As for the birds—pay attention to what goes on in your yard. We have a ton of blackbirds. They’re pretty in a flashy way, but very bossy, partly because they outnumber every other species. There are quite a few finches, those little yellow fellows that flit and flutter so happily. They have their own feeder but, when blackbirds try to take over, the finches hold their own pretty well. Robins are independent; you seldom see them in groups. Asian doves seem to run in pairs. They mix in with the blackbirds and seem to get along, but don’t hang out and socialize. Barn swallows are too busy swooping after their dinner to notice what other birds are up to. Blue jays and orioles come in briefly, maybe a pair or two, but soon move on, I suppose to find more of their own feather.
Young moms congregate to discuss kid issues. Rodeo folks and horse people are a whole other breed. Golfers and bridge players find their niche. Farmers and ranchers discuss markets and weather. They all mix well, and get along fine. But put them in a large area such as a conference or banquet and they find their people pretty quickly, just like the birds. Just saying.
Meet me here next week and meanwhile do your best. Somebody might like it.