By Jackie Guzman
Nebraska Extension Early Childhood Educator
The first week of school can be full of emotions for parents and children. It’s normal to feel excited, nervous, sad, or several emotions at one time. As summer ends and new routines begin this transition to attending school can create a mix of emotions for the entire family. The first day of school for a child may be a cause for separation anxiety.
Separation anxiety is the distress a child feels when they are separated from their primary caregiver, usually the mother. Separation anxiety is expressed in many ways, for some children it is expressed with non-stop crying. When this happens, it makes drop-off unpleasant and stressful. Sometimes the minute you pass your child off to their teacher and you head out the door the crying stops. Other times the crying continues after you leave or for several days.
Here are some suggestions to assist you if your child’s crying persists:
Discuss Feelings: When your child is calm discuss your child’s feelings and give the feeling a name, scared, sad, worried, etc. Ask what they are feeling and why they think they are crying so much at school and reassure them.
Focus on the Positive: Be certain to focus on the good things that happened during the school day and what they enjoyed about the day. Just as a reminder that there are a lot of good things that happen at school. Assure them that you will always be there for them and love them very much.
Brainstorm Ideas: Together brainstorm ideas of things that may help them feel more secure and make a list. Make certain the list is realistic for both of you. Then, every morning your child can choose something from the list to help them feel more secure.
Item to Provide Comfort: If your child can wear or pack a special item in their backpack like fabric or a small toy, so that when they feel emotional, they can hold on to it when needing comfort. Check with your child’s teacher to see what is appropriate for the classroom.
Make a Craft Together: Make friendship bracelets together, make one for your child and one for you. Make this bracelet making session fun for you and your child so that when they see the bracelet it brings a smile to their face. You can both wear them every day as this will serve as a reminder of a happy memory that you both can focus on until you see each other again.
Books to Read Together: Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn; Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney and Anita Jeram; and Benny Learns to Say Goodbye by Dr. Jonathan Kushnir.