“I am so distant from the hope of myself.”
Mary Oliver
In spite of the still bitter grip of winter and snowdrifts that are mostly just ice, the seasons roll on. We’re into Lent now, and Easter is on the horizon. Those who don’t observe Lent or celebrate Easter may have a fuzzy notion of the meaning of it all. Lent is about giving up something you enjoy, right? And Easter is about colored eggs, Peeps, and bunnies… Not really. That’s just the spin we put on it, so as to avoid undertaking major improvements.
We’ll deal with Easter when it gets closer but we have a lot to look at first. The above quote from Mary Oliver embodies the meaning of Lent for me. This is a time of reflecting on the ways we have not achieved the hope of ourselves, and hoping to do better.
Is there anyone out there who can say their life has turned out the way they had hoped? Maybe it has been wonderfully better than expected. Perhaps you have endured almost unbearable loss or tragedy, and maybe financial security that you planned for has eluded you. But I believe that Oliver is talking about what we hoped to be: our character, reputation, integrity, and ability to love others and ourselves unconditionally. Who among us hasn’t fallen short in those departments?
Among other things, getting old means I look back on many poor choices, but the way to mitigate some of that collateral damage is to make what amends are possible and try to live differently now. Lent offers me an opportunity to take inventory about any progress, or lack thereof, in the last year.
I suppose the easier way to observe this pause in our celebratory journey is to just refrain from something. But I’m not sure many of us intend to give up alcohol, cigarettes, sugar, or cussing for good, even though that kind of life decision may well be in our best interest, or that of those who love us. Years ago, it was suggested to me that Lenten discipline should mean adding something beneficial, helping others in some way, doing an undiscovered kindness, or giving a daily compliment. Those life changes are harder, but more meaningful, and it’s more likely that taking on such challenges will result in real changes.
This long winter has found me fighting depression, speaking negativity, and struggling to smile, so, I’ve resolved to pursue joy. I know myself well enough to realize that negative comments will be spoken before I even think, however there’s a magic word to head me off at the pass. BUT.
Just emphasize the positive by following complaints with a disclaimer.
“It’s a nasty day, but I’m glad to be indoors and warm.”
“Bad roads prevented meeting with friends but we can plan a day for that in April.”
Who knew that a reset would be so simple? Note, I said simple, not easy. I may not completely believe what I’m saying but, “progress, not perfection,” “fake it till you make it,” and all those platitudes eventually alter your thinking. Here’s another one that has pulled me out of a funk more than once. “I’m not what I would like to be, or what I hope to be, but thank God I’m not what I was.”
Meet me here next week and meanwhile do your best. Somebody might like it.