The Task Force on Poverty has spent a lot of time discussing stress and mental health this year. These are stressful times, with high poverty rates in our area, high unemployment rates, and high levels of COVID-19 with restrictions on gatherings, shopping, school, and travel. I am also a board member of Educational Service Unit #13, which provides support services to the schools in the Nebraska Panhandle. This article appeared in the ESU 13 December newsletter, and I requested permission to share it.
According to a survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA), 38 percent of people reported a stress level increase during the holidays. What about the holidays makes this such a stressful time for everyone?
The APA study revealed the top stressors include lack of time, money worries, over-commercialization of the holidays, gift giving pressure, the hassles of travel and family get-togethers. During the holidays, many of us fall into the happiness trap. We have such high expectations for joy during the holidays: bringing the family together, sharing a meal, exchanging thoughtful gifts. But the stress that we feel in trying to make the holidays “perfect” causes us to feel overwhelmed and prevents us from truly delighting in what should be a joyful season spent with loved ones.
Tips for Managing Holiday Stress
*Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can’t be with loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.
*Reach Out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious, or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to hep others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
*Be realistic. The holidays don’t have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones.
*Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts.
*Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. If it’s not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
*Don’t abandon healthy habits. Don’t let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Try having a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.
*Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do.
*Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.
Holiday Stress in Kids
You are not the only one experiencing stress during the holidays. Disruptions in the routine, high expectations, and dealing with the stress of those around them make this a difficult time for your kids too. Here are some practical tips to help your kids cope during the holidays:
*Manage your own stress.
*As much as possible, keep their routine the same.
*Give your child a heads up about any change in their normal routine.
*Avoid over-scheduling.
*Manage expectations (e.g., about gifts)
*Keep kids active.
*Watch what your child is eating.
*Spend 1:1 together.
*Create holiday rituals.
*Choose something to do as a family that helps others.