I’m the champion of second guesses. About the time I make a decision the committee in my head starts in with “Yes, but,” and “What if?”
I’m learning that any advice by a committee is probably worth about what you paid for it. If you don’t live in my skin you don’t have all the facts and, even if you do, facts are a lot like campaign promises—there’s always a way around them. So, I’m finally learning to ask what really makes sense in any given scenario, and then tell my committee the meeting is adjourned.
A true fact is that, given arthritic disabilities which are ever more evident, I have no business volunteering to help in the kitchen at church or any public venue. I can never be sure that what I pick up won’t slip out of my hands. Dropping a pan, an egg, or an apple, on my own kitchen floor is one thing, but dropping a large hot coffeepot or casserole in a kitchen full of busy helpers is a whole other deal. It just makes sense to let others handle the serving.
It makes sense for me to stop driving at night when I don’t have to. I can still do it, but it’s not my best gig.
It makes sense not to chime in and offer help when someone is moving. I’m an expert packer, I can get more in a horse trailer than anyone you know, but I’ve paid my dues and others have more energy now than I do.
When I’m tempted to window shop I need to consider how many clothes are already in my closet, and how much longer I might even need them. It makes sense to use those funds to help someone else.
I suppose that a milestone birthday in July has some bearing on these thoughts but, putting that aside, it’s important to learn the difference between needs and wants, between pride and consideration of others, and between reality and denial.
Of course, the committee will say that I need to pull my weight, need to stay active, need to—you fill in the blanks—we all have a committee. Mine tells me that the status quo is the only right decision, that changing course is selfish, that I’m just lazy. Reality is that their motto is PRIDE. Denial is another word for avoiding truth and wanting things to be as they always were.
And then there’s this. It’s pretty easy for me to look at your life and tell you what makes sense because I don’t have all that pride and ego stuff invested there. So, when second guesses arise, maybe I should ask myself what I’d tell you if were asking my advice in a similar situation, and then apply it to myself. It just makes sense, doesn’t it?
Common sense isn’t as common as it used to be, but it can still be found if you look in the right places.
Meet me here next week and meanwhile, do your best. Someone might like it.