Love and Fear

“If it isn’t love, it’s usually fear.” Karen Casey

“Why would they say that?” “I don’t get why anyone could vote for that person.” “How can a person who is supposedly smart promote that kind of agenda?”

How many times have you said something along those lines? Me too. And then I recall what a co-worker used to say when I earned my living in the mental health field. “I’m glad I don’t understand. If I did, I’d be like them.” Well, yes, there’s that. And then there’s this too. More often than I care to admit, I am like those I consider to be “others.” I need to remember another line I read recently. “There are no others.”

Casey proposes that most of our actions are based in either love or fear. Actions originate with thought, so monitoring our thoughts can help us discover our motives.

Obviously, the news is mostly fear related. We seem hungry for something to worry about and the media is happy to provide it. Fear sells. Fear is contagious. It’s an adrenaline rush. We, as individuals and as a society, are addicted to fear. As with any addiction, the antidote is abstinence, combined with a spiritual base and the support of peers who have dealt with the same issues. Those who have problems with alcohol probably should stay out of the bar. Delete the number of your supplier and quit hanging out with the gang. Find some people who have succeeded in changing their lives and ask how they do it.

When I’m willing to dig deep this is what I find. Anger, hurt, self-righteousness, and most of my other negative emotions, are really about fear. Much of what we worry about will never come to pass and, if it does, we’ll be given the resources to deal with it at the time, but our best solutions always come from decisions based in love.

I have some friends who, although worried about the direction our nation is heading, seem to live peacefully and avoid spreading more discontent. They don’t watch talk shows that pretend to offer news, or use social media for discussions of dissatisfaction. When asked for an opinion, they share calmly, with no agenda of changing someone’s mind. Their beliefs are based on research and study, not what they were told to think. If they catch themselves devolving into critical comments they back up and counter that with a thought of tolerance. These people seem happier and more effective in family, work, and community relationships than most of the population. They try to remember they will never look upon a face that God doesn’t love.

We can all make a difference by simply rejecting fear, in all its forms. Not easy, but easier when we surround ourselves with folks who make choices based on love. Go find some. Be one.

Meet me here next week and meanwhile, do your best. Someone might like it.