November first is All Saints Day, followed immediately by All Souls Day; both times to remember those who have died. For anyone who isn’t familiar with those celebrations, or folks who have let Halloween overshadow them, do some research. You’ll get an idea how these holidays have been commercialized just like other Christian commemorations.
Veterans Day has so far been kept sacred to honor those who have served our country but not a lot of people will turn out for the ceremonies to commemorate our patriots, and that is sad. No money to be made in this celebration, so it’s low key. Some small schools hold honoring events that include participation by students, and this makes me proud to live where we do. Likely, in more urban areas, it would be banned for fear of offending someone.
Although Thanksgiving is commonly thought of in terms of turkey, family gatherings, and football, most of us will find a moment to recall those no longer able to gather at our feast, and hopefully give thanks for role models that shaped our lives, even as we failed to notice until it was too late to express our thanks.
One of my cousins recently traveled some distance from her home to visit graves of ancestors. She summed up the experience this way: “Go to the cemetery and talk to your family. I bet you will feel better, and they will like it too.” No matter your religious affiliation, these acts of remembrance speak to the belief in an afterlife that many of us share.
Last week, on a cable news program, someone said it’s okay to put up your Christmas decorations now; actually, we ought to do it the day after Halloween. Please don’t do that, at least until the day after Thanksgiving. These November celebrations are every bit as important as holidays that generate the most revenue for merchants. If you think I’m being a bit of a Grinch, think about it. Where have you seen a greeting card for any of those holidays. other than Thanksgiving? And the volume of those cards sold is probably a drop in the bucket for Hallmark.
I once knew a priest who claimed not to recognize holidays that generated revenue for greeting card companies. Not quite true, of course; he certainly celebrated Mass on Christmas and Easter, but you get the essence of what he was saying. Surely, we can find a manner of remembering those who have gone before us in quiet, meaningful, ways. And maybe consider how to get this message across to the younger generation.
I’m not much inclined to hang out at cemeteries, but remembrance can be creative. I plant a rosebush or tree in honor of my dad and first husband, who cared for their roses and trees with love and diligence. The year after my mom died, one daughter in law fixed Mom’s favorite meal on her birthday and set an empty place at the table. A neighbor wrote me a three-page letter that began this way, “I knew your parents before you were born, and these are some of my memories.” The man lived four miles from me, and could have told me in person, but his letter is a lasting memorial to be passed along to my children.
Meet me here next week and meanwhile, do your best to honor someone who is no longer among us. Somebody might like it.