“Reasoned debate takes more discipline than shouting. Learning takes more patience than certainty. Civil life takes more courage than force.”
Ann Alexander
Are you hearing much reasoned debate lately? Didn’t think so. There’s a shortage of patience too, but a lot more claims for certainty. A lack of civility shows a lack of courage, so have we become a nation of cowards?
It’s been said that when our voices get louder, we are really trying to convince ourselves. I don’t know about you, but when someone shouts at me, I shut my ears.
We do know that one basic human need is to belong, to feel heard, and accepted. Perhaps that is why so many join the groups carrying signs, singing, wearing frog costumes, or white, at a political event. My ears go shut to those messages too, because no one has sat down with me to ask about my beliefs or have a reasonable discussion on the points where we might differ. And when my ears shut down, so does my mind. I believe that’s true for most of us, and the reason why so little progress is made in the halls of government, or even our local communities. To quote an anonymous philosopher, “My mind is like a steel trap. Always closed.” That would be funny if it weren’t so true.
What opens my mind is seeing folks pitch in at the food pantry, build a Habitat for Humanity house, volunteer to help someone who has lost everything in a disaster, or become a Teammate mentor. I don’t have to dress a certain way or march in protests, to belong with those people. They will accept me as I am if I work alongside them, and there’s no need to show allegiance to a political party or religious affiliation. No one cares about that stuff; we are working for a common goal. We are all pretty sure there’s no big outside money involved, and publicity and personal recognition are avoided. We are certain of only one thing, doing good is important work, and needs no photo ops.
My granny had a saying that applies here. You probably heard it from your granny or parents. “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” Wonder what would happen if we poured a little honey on these loud controversies.
Meet me here next week and meanwhile, do your best to hunt up the honey jar.